Super Mom, Super Me

I put my 12 month old daughter to bed at 7:45pm, and was actually happy that I had time to clean the house. My life is officially pathetic. As a mom, the highlight of my day (after my wonderful daughter, of course), is finding quiet time to clean my messy, disorganized house. I began sorting, organizing, trashing, and keeping a random selection of miscellaneous collected items throughout the years. My husband sat, off to the side on the bed, watching YouTube videos...something about an ambidexterous woman drawing with two hands. I could have killed him. I am exhausted, and finally have three seconds of time to breathe, and I have to clean. I havn't showered in 4 days, but as a Super Woman/Super Mom, I have learned the art of looking fresh and clean, despite the neglect of my personal hygiene. Thank you deoderant.

After countless hours of cleaning, I looked around and realized that I had not even made a dent in the piles of toys, clothes, and paperwork. My husband is still on the computer. If I could resurrect him, I would kill him again. I love my husband, and am only joking...legal disclaimer, but geeze...can a woman get some help? Oh, did I mention that I work full time (with mandatory overtime), and am working on a Master's degree, and have 3 dogs, and care for 2 elderly grandparents, who all live in the same house? Needless to say, I am the typical woman. Busy, over worked, and underappreciated. I quit cleaning for the night. I am done. Sorry toys, all over the floor. Sorry laundry that needs to be washed, folded, and put away. Sorry dishes piling up in the sink. Bathroom- I am not even going to speak to you, I don't even have the time to go into that...but I digress.

So POST cleaning, here is my night. Defrost some cold, pre-cooked chicken sausage, grab a Corona, and watch some DVR. At 11:00pm, I FINALLY get some dinner. So I am watching a DVR of Eli Stone, something my husband is actually interested in, so he is watching it too, and it ends (shocker, but I am leading up to something, promise). At the end, I tell my husband that I am going to organize the filing cabinet really quick before bed because the baby is asleep, and he tells me he is going to play video games online with his brother. Ok, well, at least the computer is turned off. I look up and see one of my daughter's baby pictures and blurt out "I want another baby," the exact time he says, "You're not pregnant are you?" I mean, the exact same time, randomly, for no reason. We both have a laugh, but I still can't shake the randomness of it all. Maybe I am pregnant. I was off of birth control last month because of an ovarian cyst, and we had sex one night and he didn't listen to me about pregnancy prevention so BOOM, maybe...but probably unlikely. I only say probably unlikely because it just can't be likely at this juncture in time. I said I wanted another baby, but NOT NOW anyway.

It is at this time that the baby cries, and reminds me of why I am not ready for another baby quite yet. Because my grandparents live with us, the baby sleeps in our room. Every night, like clockwork, she wakes up, and my husband allows her to sleep with us in the bed. I put the child in the crib, go to sleep, and wake up every single day to her pulling my hair in the bed. Well here she is again, up and ready. I laid her back down in her crib and walked toward the bed, when, all of a sudden: WOOOSH, there goes my softie husband to rescue his little girl from her cries, and let her cuddle in the bed. I look at her and she growls at me (that is her new thing), followed by laughter, and a wave, like she knows she just won. I am dreading the teenage years, and wonder if anyone else is going through this. Am I alone? Anyone go through it and GET through it? Daddies just LOVe to spoil their little girls...rotten.

I am exhausted but my mind is still racing, so I google blogging, and this website comes up. So now, I am in the bathroom, typing about my crazy life as a full time employee, full time mom, full time student, full time elder care person, full time 3 dog keeper, full time wife, and full time housekeeper and full time cook. Maybe, if I can write about my life, someone will share their thoughts and experiences, and I won't be alone. Is there anyone out there? Anyone at all?

Gotta go. The baby is knocking on the bathroom door....Why is my child awake at 12:19am? Lord... I will see you at church tomorrow morning. I have a lot of praying to do!!!