Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I Want to Work From Home

Making Money Blogging From Home

If you are like me,then you are hardworking, caring, and an over-achiever. You have a degree from a great school, you excel at your job, and you are underpaid for your achievement. Yes, I said it: underpaid. At the fortune 500 company I work for now, they have me doing all types of extra work for upper-upper-upper management, and keep moving me up the ladder "laterally," which means more responsibility, more work, and more possible repercussions if you mess up. The thing is, the term "laterally" is used as a corporate term meaning: "We are not going to pay you more, even though you are doing more."

I want to work from home. I want to watch my daughter and work hard. I have googled "work from home" several times, and keep getting all of these faulty advertisements and spam pop ups, and nothing has really come out of it yet.

I ask you, my readers, to support my efforts and join me in my quest to find real answers and solutions to the work from home mystery. Let's solve it together. If you have any thoughts, or ideas, or have things that have worked for you, please leave a comment about this post so that you can share your knowledge with working moms everywhere.

Follow my journey with me!

Step one: Create a blog. I started this blog after watching a woman talk to Oprah about going through post-partem depression and blogging about it. Her way of dealing with her depression was to write about what she thought and was going through. Now, she makes $40,000 a month from blogging. That is not a typo, she makes $40,000 a month from blogging. I will be happy if I had a job with a base salary of $40,000 a year! Unfortunately in this economy, a bachelors degree and a masters cannot even get you that if you don't know the right people. So back to step 1: create a blog.

I started this blog on blogger.com with the hopes that google adsense and other money generating tools would be useful to me. Yesterday I made $00.18. That is a
small number, I admit, but it is something. It means that someone out there is reading what I have to write, and if they are, that means that I have a chance. My goal everyday is to beat the amount generated the day before. That means, quality posts and blog marketing. It means finding sponsors and supporters who are willing to support my cause, and it means not giving up. So I will not give up. I will prevail. I will research. And I will share my journey with you so you can too!

Money is made in blogging when traffic visits your site and people click on the ads that are provided by your sponsors. It is a numbers game. If enough people visit my blog and are interested in my sponsors then I will make money. so let us begin this journey together.

Thank you for your dedication and support for mothers everywhere, looking to make a difference and a change.

I look forward to your feedback, advice, comments, and questions!

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Getting a 1 Year Old to Sleep All Night: Co-Sleeping Transition

Getting a newborn to sleep through the night is impossible, if not dangerous, because newborns need to be fed every 2 hours to sustain them. But getting a 1 year old to sleep throught the night should be easy...or is it? We used the co-sleeping method from birth to recently, and now, I want my bed back. It is time to make a transition.

As many of you know, I have been struggling to get my 1 year old to sleep through the night. My husband can't stand to hear her cry. My little genius has picked up on this little tidbit, and now has taken to wimpering (in her sweetest voice) "Da-Da. Da-da. Daaaa-da." Immediately, he jumps out of bed and runs to her, takes her out of the crib, and lets her cuddle with us. This wouldn't be so bad if she didn't jab me in the stomache with her foot and pull my hair all night. And since I have to be up at 5:30am for a long day of work, this is no longer an option for me. I have taken some of your advice and it seems to be working, so here is what I have been doing to get my 1 year old on track to sleep through the night:

Co-sleeping Transition Schedule

5:30pm: Dinner

6:00pm - 7:30pm: Play

7:30pm - 8:00 pm: Bath with Lavendar Soaps

8:00pm - 8:30pm: Baby Einstein Video, then short book

8:30/8:45pm: Sing baby a song, say prayers, and lay baby down to bed. I know you aren't supposed to give the baby a bottle, but I do. I am slowly diluting the formula out so that she will be drinking water, and then I will switch it out for her sippy cup, and then eventually nothing. One step at a time.

12:00am: Baby wakes up and cries out. I tell her "Shhh, lay down. You're ok, mommy loves you." I do this several times, but I do not rush over to her. She wimpered a little bit, but no big tears, screams or cries, so I didn't go over to her. Right before her daddy is about to rush over to her, she lays down. I say, "good girl." the whole interaction was less than 2 minutes.

1:00am: Baby wakes up and cries out. I tell her "Shhh, lay down. You're ok, mommy loves you." She lays down. I say, "good girl." This takes about 1 minute.

5:30am: I wake up for work. Baby's still asleep. daddy says she has been sleeping until 8:30am.

this has been going on for the last 2 nights. So hopefully, we can wean out the 2 night wakings, but this is what we have to do to get her accustomed to sleeping in her crib. Co-sleeping was great when she was tiny, but she is big and wiggly now, and momma is not on maternity leave anymore.

Ways to Make Money at Home

There are many busy moms out there who have the desire to stay home and care for their children, but their financial situation doesn't allow them to. Some of these moms work just because it is an absolute necessity, and are looking for that perfect work from home job to make extra money to pay the bills:

Ways to Make Extra Money at Home:

1. Blog: If you are patient and consistent, you will eventually earn extra income from blogging. The key is to advertise! Google AdSense is a great tool, and there are others as well. You will start off slow, but some of the best bloggers make thousands of dollars a month.

2. Turn your hobby into cash: I am a photographer on the side, but recently have been using my photography skills to earn some extra income. Vistaprint will host a website for $4.99 a month (its very user friendly) where you can showcase your work. Place an ad in Craig's List and order some business cards with the website listed, and you are in business. I know a mom who also did this and she shoots about 2-3 weddings a month now, for about $1-2k a pop!

3. Add another kid. No, I don't mean make another baby and pray for a tax break. If you are able to, offer childcare services to another mom who may not be so lucky as you to stay home. Just make sure you comply with your state's laws about the number of children you are allowed to watch.

4. Start a home-based business, and sell your products to local specialty stores. I know a mom who makes specialized and personalized hair bows, and sells them to her friends and family. It was expanded to local stores, and she is on her way to a successful business. Do you make the best cookies in the world? Try selling them to local bakeries or restaurants. Every woman has a talent, you just have to search for yours.

5. Some companies have work from home/alternate work options. Look into the policies of your company to see if this is an option for you.

Should I Go Back to Work?

Q: Should I go back to work or be a stay at home parent?

A: This is one of the biggest questions that new moms face. On one hand, staying at home with the baby provides a great way to bond with your child, and raise them yourself. On the other, working means you have more money (which ALWAYS helps when you have a baby), and it provides you with the freedom and independence that being a stay at home mom does not. You also connect socially with other people on a whole other level. the choice is ultimately up to you. You should make a list of the pros and cons of each, cross out what cancels out on your list, and you will be left with your answer. Are you working just to pay for a sitter? Maybe you should consider staying at home. I did work with a woman, however, who made $25.00 a month after she paid the babysitter for all of her kids. She said she was working because she was going crazy at home and needed the mental break. If it were me personally, I would rather be at home with my daughter and take the mental break from work. Every woman is different, and there is no wrong answer. You also have to assess whether or not you can financially afford to take time off of work and be a stay at home mom. That being said, there are lots of ways to make money as a stay at some mom. I will have a follow-up post on the ways that stay at home moms can earn some extra income. Also, if you are married, you need to have a deep conversation with your spouse or significant other about staying at home to raise the baby. a lot of spouses do not realize how much work it is to raise a child and care for a home, and it is important that they do not feel like they are doing all of the work while you vacation at home. If anyone knows anything, it is that being a mom is NOT a vacation. Moms are caretakers, secretaries, organizers, cooks, housekeepers, accountants, nurses, psychologists...all in one day, and I could go on. There is no 9-5 job as a mom! Check back for a follow up post of ways to earn extra income as a stay at home mom.

Monday, July 6, 2009

Top Baby Registry Must Haves

I have scoured the internet, forums, and websites, compiling a list of the top Baby Registry Must Haves! Here it goes:

Cloth diapers: These can be dyed any color, and come in handy for spit-ups, drooling, and Emergency diapers! cloth diapers are a baby must have secret of our previous generation, and are making a HUGE comeback!

Graco Quattro Tour Travel System Stroller: Doubles as a car seat, baby carrier, and stroller, all in one system. This is rate 5/5 by moms!

Do it Yourself Belly Cast: For mommies who want to preserve that baby belly in a special way!

Pampers Swaddlers: Get size 1, because the baby will be out of the newborn size in no time. These are great because there is a cutout area for the umbilical cord, so it doesn't irritate it.

Baby Bjorn Infant Carrier: This SAVED MY LIFE! The only time my hands were free was when I carried my daughter in her infant carrier. it mimicks the womb, and brings mommy and baby close together, while preserving mommy's sanity!

The Happiest Baby on the Block Book: I can't say enough about this book. another lifesaver. I give one to every new mommy!

Sassy Me in the Mirror: this attaches to the infant carrier, and allows the baby to look at themselves. Another lifesaver. I'm an advocate of anything that gives mommy 5 minutes of breathing room!

The First Year;s American Red Cross Grooming Kit: Has everything that you need for baby, and the price is nice too!

Any Baby Bouncer: Great for multiples! Baby bouncers create an in-the womb sensation for baby. Combine this with swaddling and you're guaranteed at least an hour's worth of happy baby! Crucial!

Playtex Drop In System: Forget washing the inside of bottles all the time- these are disposable inserts, and my daughter loved them. They alse compress to get the air out (to prevent upset stomache), and are easy on mom too! They also come with a great pump and storage system for breastfeeding moms as well.

Safety 1st High Definition Digital Baby Monitor: This isn't as pricy as the video monitors, and you can turn down the volume and watch for it to light up if the baby is crying as well. this is good for colicky babies; when the mommy wants to make sure the baby is ok, but can't stand the screaming! You can still monitor the baby without the price of video and the migrane!

Diaper Genie: This works to take the stink away from baby diapers, and is disposable and almost air tight. A great investment, and alternative to running to the garage trash can every 10 minutes.

Fisher Price Aquarium Bathtub: This is great because it is convertible from newborn to toddler, and comes with cute baby toys to go with it. My daughter loves hers!

Boppy Einstein Me Play Gym: Has lots for baby to do, and provides lots of fun and entertainment. My daughter used to fall asleep after playing! Always a bonus!

Onesies: These are always good, but I recommend getting size 12 months, because most moms end up getting too much 0-3 clothing, and baby quickly grows out of it before even getting the chance to wear it!

Baby Slings: Like Infant carriers, these keep baby content for long periods of time. Most moms in other countries carry their babies throughout infancy, and these are extremely helpful!

Baby Einstein Stationery Baby Entertainment Center: Another lifesaver. It's great in the kitchen while you're trying to cook a meal and want to make sure the baby is safe and happy.

Skip these:

Baby Shoes/Sandals: These are cute, but not practical, and a baby under 6 months probably won't keep them on anyway. I recommend not buying any shoe size smaller than size 3.

Pre-made Baby Swaddlers: These don't swaddle the baby tight enough to achieve the benefit of swaddling. Instead, opt for nursery blankets.

Baby Walkers: These can be dangerous, especially is a stairway is accidentally left open. Opt for a stationery entertainment center.

Stretchmark Cream: Most of these do not work. I used pure olive oil after a shower, and throughout my pregnancy and was able to escape stretchmarks, even though my mother had them pretty bad. I swear by constant olive oil application.

If you have any other mommy must haves please share!

Working Mother: Top Tax Cutting Strategies

Why not get 2010's tax season started early today?

With the economic recession in full blast, and Christmas coming up in 6 months, (yes, start shopping NOW), you HAVE to start getting your finances in order. So how can you reduce your tax bill? Jerri Ledford, from Working Mom's Refuge tells you how:

10 Tax Cutting Strategies You Can't Afford to Miss
by Jerri L. Ledford
The days are getting cooler and shorter. Christmas is just around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the tax season.
As difficult as it is to believe, right now is when you should be planning for the tax season. After all, there are only a little more than three months before the end of the year. And once December 31st has come and gone, the only strategy you have is to pay Uncle Sam on time.
Naturally, none of us want to pay more taxes than we have to. So here are 10 strategies to help you reduce your tax bill.
Invest in series EE savings bonds or certificates of deposit (CDs) that mature in six months. These investments allow you to defer the taxes on interest paid until next year. But in the case of the CDs be sure the interest will not be credited to your account or made available to you until January 2001 or later.
If your company pays bonuses at the end of the year, try to have those bonuses paid in January rather than in December. Also, ask about having your employer pay for college tuition or offer another type of benefit rather than paying you directly.
Max out retirement investments, especially 401(k) plans. Most 401 (k) contributions are made pre-tax. Use this your advantage to reduce your taxable income.
Recognize any capital losses experience in conjunction with the recent stock market swings. You can take up to $3000 of capital losses per year, anything above that amount can be carried forward to next year. Also keep in mind that if you have a stock that is down now, but you expect the price to rise in the future, you can sell the stock, take the loss now, and then buy the stock back later. However, note that you must wait at least 30 days before buying the stock back or the capital loss is disallowed.
Pay your January mortgage payment before December 31st. Since the interest paid on a mortgage is tax deductible, and since the interest included with your January payment is usually for the month of December, paying the payment before the end of the month makes the interest allowable. The catch is, it probably won't be reflected on the interest statement that you receive from the mortgage holder so you'll have to figure that interest into the total yourself.
Shift consumer debt such as credit cards, personal loans, and automobile loans to a mortgage loan. The interest from qualifying mortgage loans is tax deductible.
Don't buy mutual funds at the end of the year. Fund companies usually distribute dividends and capital gains at the end of the year, meaning that if you buy a mutual fund in the last quarter, you have to pay the taxes, but you don't gain any benefits.
Tally up all of your medical expenses — doctor's bills, prescriptions, orthodontic work, eyeglasses, contact lenses, health insurance premiums, transportation for medical emergencies, orthopedic shoes, and hearing aids are among the deductible expenses. Medical expenses are only deductible if they surpass 7.5 percent of your adjusted gross income. But if you're close, you might consider paying off outstanding medical bills to push your total over the line.
Deduct jury pay. If you received pay for jury duty during the year and turned it over to your employee in return for your regular salary, you can deduct the amount of the jury pay, even if you don't itemize your return.
Make donations to charities. All charitable contributions are tax deductible, including appreciated securities that you've held for more than 12 months. If you do donate appreciated securities, you gain two ways. You avoid capital gains taxes and you can deduct the fully appreciated market value of the stock. Also don't forget to get receipts for donated goods or cash donations.
No one likes to pay taxes. It's an unfortunate part of being a working adult. However, if you begin to plan now for the taxes that will be due at the end of the year, you'll be able to take a sizable chunk out of the total amount. Defer income where possible, accelerate expenses when doing so will give you tax breaks, and don't forget to take the tax credits that are due to you.
Who knows? With the money that you save, when it warms up again you might be able to take that vacation that you've been putting off.
Jerri Ledford is a freelance writer and small-business expert for the Visa/First USA Bank eBizCenter. She also is an instructor for the Writer's Village University (http://www.writersvillage.com) and the Co-Owner/Co-Moderator of the Momwriters Web site (http://www.momwriters.com) and LISTSERV. You can e-mail her at JerriLedford@cs.com.

Resource: http://www.momsrefuge.com/career/0009/ledford/index.html

Letting Baby Cry it Out

This morning posed a small success! I woke up at 5:30am today, and there was no baby in my bed. Never mind the fact that she awoke 3 times last night. Each time, I went to her crib, laid her back down (she always pops up in her crib like a jack in the box), told her "I love you," and to go back to sleep. It worked, but I am exhausted.

I am conflicted over the cry it out method versus the soothe back to sleep method. I am tempted to just let her have it out with herself for a good while for 2 or 3 nights and be done with it. As a mother, it goes against every instinct in my body, but as a working mother, it is tempting, just for 10 extra minutes of sleep. I am going to try as long as I can to keep going to her, so we will see about it.

I had to lay my clothes out last night, so I would have this extra 5 minutes to discuss how the morning is going! Maybe this will work for me, we shall see! I have 2 minutes until I have to leave the house, and I don't have a cup of coffee yet, so I will make it brief. Here's what the "experts" from the University of Michigan say about the cry it out method:

What’s there to know about sleeping?Sleep problems are some of the most common problems parents face with their kids. You may wonder about how to get your child to sleep through the night. Maybe you have a new baby and want to learn how to help them develop good sleep habits that will last a lifetime. Some children may have chronic sleep difficulties, and many children (like most adults!) are actually going through their days sleep-deprived. Read on for information on all these issues and more, and for lots of links to even more resources to help your kids (and you) get a better night’s sleep.

When people sleep, they cycle between rapid eye movement (REM) sleep and non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep. In REM, your eyes move around fast, you don’t move your body much, and you dream. REM is light sleep and the stage when your infant or child is most likely to wake up. NREM sleep is deep sleep.

In normal sleep, a child cycles between light sleep and deep sleep. Each light sleep stage is a time when the child is more likely to wake up.

What do I need to know about how babies sleep?Infants go through a complete sleep cycle about every 50-60 minutes, so they are in light sleep and could wake up many times each night!

Newborns just sleep any old time, on and off, all through the day and night. By age four months, your baby will probably be sleeping a 6-8 hour chunk at night, and by age 6 months, about 10-12 hours. But that’s not to say that they won’t wake up during that time! Most babies still wake up at least once a night even at age nine months. Some can get back to sleep by themselves, and some need you to help them fall back asleep. If all this night waking is not working for your family, then you may find some helpful resources on this page, so read on!

Mom's mood, baby's sleep: What's the connection? UM researchers find that babies born to moms with depression are more likely to have chaotic sleep patterns early on.
A special note about babies and sleep safety: Healthy babies should be put down to sleep on their backs to lower the risk of SIDS. Be sure all your baby’s caregivers are aware of the safe sleep guidelines.

Resources:

Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep, by William Sears. A nice reminder that parenting does not stop at bedtime, and we don’t have to view children’s nighttime needs as problems. This book offers advice on issues such as deciding where babies should sleep, what foods may help children sleep, tips for single parents, and getting children to bed without a struggle.

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weisbluth. This book teaches parents the basics of sleep science and helps them find their baby's optimal window for falling asleep both for naps and at nighttime.. Many parents are startled to discover that their baby is sleep deprived, which is actually making it harder for the baby to fall asleep! This approach falls within the "cry-it-out" school of thought. The book also covers teen sleep issues. Addresses mainly infants through age 3, but also discusses older children's and teens' sleep.

Source:
Literature Cited
Written and compiled by Kyla Boyse, R.N. Reviewed by faculty and staff at the University of Michigan "

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Exhausted Mom: Tips For Finding Energy

Today is awfully busy for a Sunday. Then again, Sunday's are mostly busy for any mom. There's the cooking, and the cleaning, and the laundry, etc., etc., but there is also time that has to be found for your baby, husband, pets, and family; if there is any time left, you can bet it will be interrupted by something that I forgot to list. I have to admit, I lost it today. Here's what happened:

I was downstairs in the kitchen, scrambling to make the baby's lunch. I only feed her all organic, nutritious foods, so everything must be prepared in advance. So I was makign her food, like a zombie, trying to keep her happy in her highchair with a teething biscuit so she wouldn't scream and blow my head clean off, and my grandmother goes, "Are you cooking salmon for dinner?" A little bit of background: my grandmother is more like my mother, and is not the typical grandmother. She is the typical, pushy, overbearing mother, and she's pretty young too, so it's not like she is old and frail or anything. So I tell her, "I don't know," and I continue to make my daughter's meal. My grandmother persists (please note, the woman does not even eat salmon). She tells my grandfather and my husband that there is no food in the house because I left our marzeti at the potluck, and that I was cooking salmon for dinner, and she looked at me and said, "right." Me: "Ok, later." And my grandfather says, "What time." It is at this point that I finally said, "I do not feel like cooking salmon today," and had to walk out. I went off and said I was over everyone and was tired of waiting on everyone. Then I went off my husband, because he came downstairs empty-handed after I asked him to either bring the trash or the dishes from downstairs. Here I was, running around, and everyone else was sitting, watching TV. All I could think of was the list of things I needed to do... blah, blah, blah... I won't bore you with the details of my day, but at one point, my body just gave up. I hit the wall, as they say, and am now completely exhausted.

So I did some research on some of the top ways that a busy mom can find energy when it seems impossible to find.

Top 10 Energy Ideas for Mom

1. Redbull and/or coffee: A great, short term solution to give you a 30 minute boost when needed. Please note, you WILL crash afterwords and be even more tired than before. This is only for emergency purposes.

2. Stretching: This helps, and only takes 5 minutes. You can sneak it in while the kids are busy, or while you pretend to be going to the bathroom longer than usual. (The bathroom is a great "break" room).

3. Stay healthy: This is absolutely key. No matter how busy you are, remember that EXERCISE IS CUMULATIVE. I don't have 45 minutes to go to the gym, so I practice lifting the baby, or do lunges while walking through a room. Every single little bit helps.

4. Eat clean: When you put toxic food in your body, your energy plummets. As a busy, mom, I know that its sometimes impossible. I'm no doctor, but I abide by: if you don't understand the label, don't eat it, and if you are hungry but there is nothing healthy, it is better to not eat. This is probably bad medical advice, but I lost weight that way, and feel a bit better than before. I keep bananas, chicken sausage, and small, healthy portions easily accessable, and cut the carbs. Oh, NO white breads, starches, or sugars. Those will really stick to your insides and clog up your systems.

5. Sleep: Yes, I put this because it is medically important, but as a busy mom my personal response is "Ha Ha, yeah right."

6. Green and White tea: It is something healthy and yummy to sip for 5 minutes of relaxation, after the babies are asleep. Make sure it is caffeine free. I sweeten mine with organic stevia, and like the Yogi Organic tea brand.

7. Take a brisk walk with the stroller daily. If you can,, get a multiple baby stroller for multiple kids. They make them for up to 8 kids in 1 stroller: google it.

8. Sleep when the baby sleeps. I have even gotten in the playpen with the baby, just to take a nap. I know that if she wakes up, she will just play around me, and she is safe. I don't recommend this for babys in the SIDS age range, but when the baby's big enough, try it.

9. Try the Book: The Happiest Baby on the Block. My doctor recommended it to me. It is a lifesaver. When I brought my newborn home, I actually got a 4 hour long sleep one night, which was miraculous.

10. Talk with other moms. Sometimes, unloading the burdeon and sharing with other moms will provide you with an energy release that is unmatched. Prayer groups, etc.

Please post a comment: What do you to to find energy when you're drained?

Getting Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night

So after your comments and advice, here is the number one tip: Establish Routines!

Here is what some of you are saying:

"Try a nice warm bath before bed.what ever u try u have to be consistent.It may seem like it will never work,but if u r consistent it will work in the end."

"Establish a bedtime routine and stick to it. Give your baby a bath, have a last nursing session or bottle, read a story, say a personal, meaningful goodnight to each of your baby's 47 stuffed animals 'whatever. It doesn't really matter what your ritual is, as long as it's soothing, not stimulating, and you're consistent."

"Incorporate a "cuddly" into your routine. Maybe your baby has already developed a special attachment to a stuffed animal or a blanket. If so, use it. If not, try to foster such an attachment by carrying around the blanket (or whatever) as you go through your routine."

"If your child cries when put to bed awake, don't pick her up! Some experts advise you to stay in the room so your baby doesn't panic, thinking she's been deserted. Others advise leaving the room but returning at regular intervals (five to ten minutes is commonly suggested), to speak softly to her, rub her back briefly (but don't take her out of the crib!) and then leave again. You'll have to decide which approach works best for you and your baby."

"When your baby naps, let him to sleep in a well-lit area. This will help encourage shorter naps, which may help him sleep better at night."

" When nursing, ley your baby to finish the first breast offered. This will provide him with more of your rich hindmilk, which helps to space out his nighttime feeds. "

"A really important thing you should do to so that you get baby to sleep through the night and to insure that she sleeps well, on her own, is to create a comfortable sleep environment."

"I have a five-year-old boy and a two-month-old little girl. My first experince with my son was a disaster. I had no clue on how to put him to sleep all night. I've now been parenting for five years and have an idea to try with my baby girl. I keep it bright in the house all day, either the T.V. or the radio is on. I talk and sing to her. Of course I let her take naps, for about 20-30 minutes every two hours. Then after dinner, I bathe my son then nurse my daughter in a dark room with a lulluby CD I bought. She loves to hear it before she lays down for the night. That gives me time to do homework with my son. I've been doing this routine since she was three weeks old. It took me about a week to become successful at it but it works!"

"For those babies who refuse the bassinette like mine did, try a cradle swing. I recommended it to a friend, and it worked for her as well! And my doctor said it was fine, because she was still on her back, the safest sleeping position."

Please leave a comment if any of the above has (or hasn't) worked for you. Or if you think something is missing, leave a comment as well!

Keeping Relationships With Childless Couples Alive

I woke up this morning to my daughter, growling and jumping on me, and trying to pull out my eyelashes. Staying up late last night was not a good idea. Anyway, last friday, my childless friends wanted to watch the fireworks, so after I put the baby to bed and secured a babysitter, we headed downtown to watch them. Needless to say, after waking up at 5:30 am, working all day, coming home and taking care of the baby, I was ready to turn in for the night by midnight which, by the way, is waaaay past my bedtime these days. Since I was not driving.... we stayed out until two. Of course, the baby was up the next day at 7:00am, and I havn't caught up on sleep yet. I don't think moms get to sleep, it is a rule or something like that. For my birthday, all I want to do is sleep. No presents needed, no cards, just 8 whole hours of quality sleep.

I can't wait for my childless friends to have kids. One day they will understand, and they won't keep me out all night. You have to walk a fine line between managing your lifelong friends who do not have kids, meeting the needs of your family, and not going insane. Realistically, once you are a mom, you are not going to maintain all of you pre-mom relationships. It isn't going to work, they are not going to understand, and you will lose some of your friends. Motherhood is a test of true friends and relationships. If your friendship is baby-proof, you will have a friend for life. My friend, the one who doesn't have a baby right now, has been my friend literally my whole, life, since we were born. When you have a friend like that, you have to make some concessions and pray that she and her husband has kids soon. She said she is going to go off of birth control in August, but has planned a girls Vegas trip in September with all of her single, unmarried, childless friends. For her sake, let's hope the stork comes after their trip, because if there is one situation you do not want to be in, it is to be pregnant in Vegas. Try being a married mom with kids, and having a bunch of pretty, single, childless friends running around in Vegas. No good.

So you have to live and learn. Baby proof your friendship. Talk to your friends about your life as a mom, but not too much that it takes over your entire conversation. I try to say just enough so as to stop the baby conversation just before their eyes glaze over, and believe me, if you pay attention, at some point their eyes WILL glaze over if you talk too long. So that is the tip for the day: practice your baby conversation with your friends who don't have kids, but make sure that you don't bore them with all of the dirty mommy details like spit up and screaming. Trust me, they are not interested in the fact that you accidentally grabbed a handful of poop while changing your baby's diaper (like I did the other day).

Any of you moms out there have any advice to share about balancing your non-mom friendships with your life?

I am still waiting for advice for how to get a 1 year old to sleep through the night!

Saturday, July 4, 2009

I forgot....To add YOUR advice

To add your advice to my question of the week: send me a friend request on Facebook. My user- name is Superious Motherus. I wanted to put Super Mom but it wouldn't let me, hence the cheesy latin gladiator name. Although, sometimes I feel like a gladiator! Anyway, as soon as I get these responses I will post it to this blog.

Super Mom Seeks Advice: How Do I Get a One Year Old to Sleep Through the Night?

I decided to create a Facebook profile to see how much advice I can get from other moms. I think what I am going to do is post daily or weekly questions, and write about the answers that I receive. Today's question is: "How do I get a one year old to sleep through the night?" Since I have 0 friends on Facebook right now, I am awaiting my first friend acceptance and hoping that someone will come through with some good advice, because this child of mine does not sleep. And since my workday begins at the office at 7am, MOMMA NEEDS HER SLEEP! Let us cross our fingers! PS: The baby is sleeping right now on MY pillows on the bed. Ugh. If I move her she will wake up and cry. I want her to be happy, and I want some sleep. I ahve heard the "cry it out method" is great, and other sources say it is cruel. What do I do? What do YOU do? Let's hope some advice comes through!

Super Mom, Super Me

I put my 12 month old daughter to bed at 7:45pm, and was actually happy that I had time to clean the house. My life is officially pathetic. As a mom, the highlight of my day (after my wonderful daughter, of course), is finding quiet time to clean my messy, disorganized house. I began sorting, organizing, trashing, and keeping a random selection of miscellaneous collected items throughout the years. My husband sat, off to the side on the bed, watching YouTube videos...something about an ambidexterous woman drawing with two hands. I could have killed him. I am exhausted, and finally have three seconds of time to breathe, and I have to clean. I havn't showered in 4 days, but as a Super Woman/Super Mom, I have learned the art of looking fresh and clean, despite the neglect of my personal hygiene. Thank you deoderant.

After countless hours of cleaning, I looked around and realized that I had not even made a dent in the piles of toys, clothes, and paperwork. My husband is still on the computer. If I could resurrect him, I would kill him again. I love my husband, and am only joking...legal disclaimer, but geeze...can a woman get some help? Oh, did I mention that I work full time (with mandatory overtime), and am working on a Master's degree, and have 3 dogs, and care for 2 elderly grandparents, who all live in the same house? Needless to say, I am the typical woman. Busy, over worked, and underappreciated. I quit cleaning for the night. I am done. Sorry toys, all over the floor. Sorry laundry that needs to be washed, folded, and put away. Sorry dishes piling up in the sink. Bathroom- I am not even going to speak to you, I don't even have the time to go into that...but I digress.

So POST cleaning, here is my night. Defrost some cold, pre-cooked chicken sausage, grab a Corona, and watch some DVR. At 11:00pm, I FINALLY get some dinner. So I am watching a DVR of Eli Stone, something my husband is actually interested in, so he is watching it too, and it ends (shocker, but I am leading up to something, promise). At the end, I tell my husband that I am going to organize the filing cabinet really quick before bed because the baby is asleep, and he tells me he is going to play video games online with his brother. Ok, well, at least the computer is turned off. I look up and see one of my daughter's baby pictures and blurt out "I want another baby," the exact time he says, "You're not pregnant are you?" I mean, the exact same time, randomly, for no reason. We both have a laugh, but I still can't shake the randomness of it all. Maybe I am pregnant. I was off of birth control last month because of an ovarian cyst, and we had sex one night and he didn't listen to me about pregnancy prevention so BOOM, maybe...but probably unlikely. I only say probably unlikely because it just can't be likely at this juncture in time. I said I wanted another baby, but NOT NOW anyway.

It is at this time that the baby cries, and reminds me of why I am not ready for another baby quite yet. Because my grandparents live with us, the baby sleeps in our room. Every night, like clockwork, she wakes up, and my husband allows her to sleep with us in the bed. I put the child in the crib, go to sleep, and wake up every single day to her pulling my hair in the bed. Well here she is again, up and ready. I laid her back down in her crib and walked toward the bed, when, all of a sudden: WOOOSH, there goes my softie husband to rescue his little girl from her cries, and let her cuddle in the bed. I look at her and she growls at me (that is her new thing), followed by laughter, and a wave, like she knows she just won. I am dreading the teenage years, and wonder if anyone else is going through this. Am I alone? Anyone go through it and GET through it? Daddies just LOVe to spoil their little girls...rotten.

I am exhausted but my mind is still racing, so I google blogging, and this website comes up. So now, I am in the bathroom, typing about my crazy life as a full time employee, full time mom, full time student, full time elder care person, full time 3 dog keeper, full time wife, and full time housekeeper and full time cook. Maybe, if I can write about my life, someone will share their thoughts and experiences, and I won't be alone. Is there anyone out there? Anyone at all?

Gotta go. The baby is knocking on the bathroom door....Why is my child awake at 12:19am? Lord... I will see you at church tomorrow morning. I have a lot of praying to do!!!