Keeping Relationships With Childless Couples Alive

I woke up this morning to my daughter, growling and jumping on me, and trying to pull out my eyelashes. Staying up late last night was not a good idea. Anyway, last friday, my childless friends wanted to watch the fireworks, so after I put the baby to bed and secured a babysitter, we headed downtown to watch them. Needless to say, after waking up at 5:30 am, working all day, coming home and taking care of the baby, I was ready to turn in for the night by midnight which, by the way, is waaaay past my bedtime these days. Since I was not driving.... we stayed out until two. Of course, the baby was up the next day at 7:00am, and I havn't caught up on sleep yet. I don't think moms get to sleep, it is a rule or something like that. For my birthday, all I want to do is sleep. No presents needed, no cards, just 8 whole hours of quality sleep.

I can't wait for my childless friends to have kids. One day they will understand, and they won't keep me out all night. You have to walk a fine line between managing your lifelong friends who do not have kids, meeting the needs of your family, and not going insane. Realistically, once you are a mom, you are not going to maintain all of you pre-mom relationships. It isn't going to work, they are not going to understand, and you will lose some of your friends. Motherhood is a test of true friends and relationships. If your friendship is baby-proof, you will have a friend for life. My friend, the one who doesn't have a baby right now, has been my friend literally my whole, life, since we were born. When you have a friend like that, you have to make some concessions and pray that she and her husband has kids soon. She said she is going to go off of birth control in August, but has planned a girls Vegas trip in September with all of her single, unmarried, childless friends. For her sake, let's hope the stork comes after their trip, because if there is one situation you do not want to be in, it is to be pregnant in Vegas. Try being a married mom with kids, and having a bunch of pretty, single, childless friends running around in Vegas. No good.

So you have to live and learn. Baby proof your friendship. Talk to your friends about your life as a mom, but not too much that it takes over your entire conversation. I try to say just enough so as to stop the baby conversation just before their eyes glaze over, and believe me, if you pay attention, at some point their eyes WILL glaze over if you talk too long. So that is the tip for the day: practice your baby conversation with your friends who don't have kids, but make sure that you don't bore them with all of the dirty mommy details like spit up and screaming. Trust me, they are not interested in the fact that you accidentally grabbed a handful of poop while changing your baby's diaper (like I did the other day).

Any of you moms out there have any advice to share about balancing your non-mom friendships with your life?

I am still waiting for advice for how to get a 1 year old to sleep through the night!