Why not get 2010's tax season started early today?
With the economic recession in full blast, and Christmas coming up in 6 months, (yes, start shopping NOW), you HAVE to start getting your finances in order. So how can you reduce your tax bill? Jerri Ledford, from Working Mom's Refuge tells you how:
10 Tax Cutting Strategies You Can't Afford to Miss
by Jerri L. Ledford
The days are getting cooler and shorter. Christmas is just around the corner. Unfortunately, so is the tax season.
As difficult as it is to believe, right now is when you should be planning for the tax season. After all, there are only a little more than three months before the end of the year. And once December 31st has come and gone, the only strategy you have is to pay Uncle Sam on time.
Naturally, none of us want to pay more taxes than we have to. So here are 10 strategies to help you reduce your tax bill.
Invest in series EE savings bonds or certificates of deposit (CDs) that mature in six months. These investments allow you to defer the taxes on interest paid until next year. But in the case of the CDs be sure the interest will not be credited to your account or made available to you until January 2001 or later.
If your company pays bonuses at the end of the year, try to have those bonuses paid in January rather than in December. Also, ask about having your employer pay for college tuition or offer another type of benefit rather than paying you directly.
Max out retirement investments, especially 401(k) plans. Most 401 (k) contributions are made pre-tax. Use this your advantage to reduce your taxable income.
Recognize any capital losses experience in conjunction with the recent stock market swings. You can take up to $3000 of capital losses per year, anything above that amount can be carried forward to next year. Also keep in mind that if you have a stock that is down now, but you expect the price to rise in the future, you can sell the stock, take the loss now, and then buy the stock back later. However, note that you must wait at least 30 days before buying the stock back or the capital loss is disallowed.
Pay your January mortgage payment before December 31st. Since the interest paid on a mortgage is tax deductible, and since the interest included with your January payment is usually for the month of December, paying the payment before the end of the month makes the interest allowable. The catch is, it probably won't be reflected on the interest statement that you receive from the mortgage holder so you'll have to figure that interest into the total yourself.
Shift consumer debt such as credit cards, personal loans, and automobile loans to a mortgage loan. The interest from qualifying mortgage loans is tax deductible.
Don't buy mutual funds at the end of the year. Fund companies usually distribute dividends and capital gains at the end of the year, meaning that if you buy a mutual fund in the last quarter, you have to pay the taxes, but you don't gain any benefits.
Tally up all of your medical expenses — doctor's bills, prescriptions, orthodontic work, eyeglasses, contact lenses, health insurance premiums, transportation for medical emergencies, orthopedic shoes, and hearing aids are among the deductible expenses. Medical expenses are only deductible if they surpass 7.5 percent of your adjusted gross income. But if you're close, you might consider paying off outstanding medical bills to push your total over the line.
Deduct jury pay. If you received pay for jury duty during the year and turned it over to your employee in return for your regular salary, you can deduct the amount of the jury pay, even if you don't itemize your return.
Make donations to charities. All charitable contributions are tax deductible, including appreciated securities that you've held for more than 12 months. If you do donate appreciated securities, you gain two ways. You avoid capital gains taxes and you can deduct the fully appreciated market value of the stock. Also don't forget to get receipts for donated goods or cash donations.
No one likes to pay taxes. It's an unfortunate part of being a working adult. However, if you begin to plan now for the taxes that will be due at the end of the year, you'll be able to take a sizable chunk out of the total amount. Defer income where possible, accelerate expenses when doing so will give you tax breaks, and don't forget to take the tax credits that are due to you.
Who knows? With the money that you save, when it warms up again you might be able to take that vacation that you've been putting off.
Jerri Ledford is a freelance writer and small-business expert for the Visa/First USA Bank eBizCenter. She also is an instructor for the Writer's Village University (http://www.writersvillage.com) and the Co-Owner/Co-Moderator of the Momwriters Web site (http://www.momwriters.com) and LISTSERV. You can e-mail her at JerriLedford@cs.com.
Resource: http://www.momsrefuge.com/career/0009/ledford/index.html
Monday, July 6, 2009
Letting Baby Cry it Out
This morning posed a small success! I woke up at 5:30am today, and there was no baby in my bed. Never mind the fact that she awoke 3 times last night. Each time, I went to her crib, laid her back down (she always pops up in her crib like a jack in the box), told her "I love you," and to go back to sleep. It worked, but I am exhausted.
I am conflicted over the cry it out method versus the soothe back to sleep method. I am tempted to just let her have it out with herself for a good while for 2 or 3 nights and be done with it. As a mother, it goes against every instinct in my body, but as a working mother, it is tempting, just for 10 extra minutes of sleep. I am going to try as long as I can to keep going to her, so we will see about it.
I had to lay my clothes out last night, so I would have this extra 5 minutes to discuss how the morning is going! Maybe this will work for me, we shall see! I have 2 minutes until I have to leave the house, and I don't have a cup of coffee yet, so I will make it brief. Here's what the "experts" from the University of Michigan say about the cry it out method:
What’s there to know about sleeping?Sleep problems are some of the most common problems parents face with their kids. You may wonder about how to get your child to sleep through the night. Maybe you have a new baby and want to learn how to help them develop good sleep habits that will last a lifetime. Some children may have chronic sleep difficulties, and many children (like most adults!) are actually going through their days sleep-deprived. Read on for information on all these issues and more, and for lots of links to even more resources to help your kids (and you) get a better night’s sleep.
When people sleep, they cycle between rapid eye movement (REM) sleep and non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep. In REM, your eyes move around fast, you don’t move your body much, and you dream. REM is light sleep and the stage when your infant or child is most likely to wake up. NREM sleep is deep sleep.
In normal sleep, a child cycles between light sleep and deep sleep. Each light sleep stage is a time when the child is more likely to wake up.
What do I need to know about how babies sleep?Infants go through a complete sleep cycle about every 50-60 minutes, so they are in light sleep and could wake up many times each night!
Newborns just sleep any old time, on and off, all through the day and night. By age four months, your baby will probably be sleeping a 6-8 hour chunk at night, and by age 6 months, about 10-12 hours. But that’s not to say that they won’t wake up during that time! Most babies still wake up at least once a night even at age nine months. Some can get back to sleep by themselves, and some need you to help them fall back asleep. If all this night waking is not working for your family, then you may find some helpful resources on this page, so read on!
Mom's mood, baby's sleep: What's the connection? UM researchers find that babies born to moms with depression are more likely to have chaotic sleep patterns early on.
A special note about babies and sleep safety: Healthy babies should be put down to sleep on their backs to lower the risk of SIDS. Be sure all your baby’s caregivers are aware of the safe sleep guidelines.
Resources:
Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep, by William Sears. A nice reminder that parenting does not stop at bedtime, and we don’t have to view children’s nighttime needs as problems. This book offers advice on issues such as deciding where babies should sleep, what foods may help children sleep, tips for single parents, and getting children to bed without a struggle.
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weisbluth. This book teaches parents the basics of sleep science and helps them find their baby's optimal window for falling asleep both for naps and at nighttime.. Many parents are startled to discover that their baby is sleep deprived, which is actually making it harder for the baby to fall asleep! This approach falls within the "cry-it-out" school of thought. The book also covers teen sleep issues. Addresses mainly infants through age 3, but also discusses older children's and teens' sleep.
Source:
Literature Cited
Written and compiled by Kyla Boyse, R.N. Reviewed by faculty and staff at the University of Michigan "
I am conflicted over the cry it out method versus the soothe back to sleep method. I am tempted to just let her have it out with herself for a good while for 2 or 3 nights and be done with it. As a mother, it goes against every instinct in my body, but as a working mother, it is tempting, just for 10 extra minutes of sleep. I am going to try as long as I can to keep going to her, so we will see about it.
I had to lay my clothes out last night, so I would have this extra 5 minutes to discuss how the morning is going! Maybe this will work for me, we shall see! I have 2 minutes until I have to leave the house, and I don't have a cup of coffee yet, so I will make it brief. Here's what the "experts" from the University of Michigan say about the cry it out method:
What’s there to know about sleeping?Sleep problems are some of the most common problems parents face with their kids. You may wonder about how to get your child to sleep through the night. Maybe you have a new baby and want to learn how to help them develop good sleep habits that will last a lifetime. Some children may have chronic sleep difficulties, and many children (like most adults!) are actually going through their days sleep-deprived. Read on for information on all these issues and more, and for lots of links to even more resources to help your kids (and you) get a better night’s sleep.
When people sleep, they cycle between rapid eye movement (REM) sleep and non-rapid eye movement (NREM) sleep. In REM, your eyes move around fast, you don’t move your body much, and you dream. REM is light sleep and the stage when your infant or child is most likely to wake up. NREM sleep is deep sleep.
In normal sleep, a child cycles between light sleep and deep sleep. Each light sleep stage is a time when the child is more likely to wake up.
What do I need to know about how babies sleep?Infants go through a complete sleep cycle about every 50-60 minutes, so they are in light sleep and could wake up many times each night!
Newborns just sleep any old time, on and off, all through the day and night. By age four months, your baby will probably be sleeping a 6-8 hour chunk at night, and by age 6 months, about 10-12 hours. But that’s not to say that they won’t wake up during that time! Most babies still wake up at least once a night even at age nine months. Some can get back to sleep by themselves, and some need you to help them fall back asleep. If all this night waking is not working for your family, then you may find some helpful resources on this page, so read on!
Mom's mood, baby's sleep: What's the connection? UM researchers find that babies born to moms with depression are more likely to have chaotic sleep patterns early on.
A special note about babies and sleep safety: Healthy babies should be put down to sleep on their backs to lower the risk of SIDS. Be sure all your baby’s caregivers are aware of the safe sleep guidelines.
Resources:
Nighttime Parenting: How to Get Your Baby and Child to Sleep, by William Sears. A nice reminder that parenting does not stop at bedtime, and we don’t have to view children’s nighttime needs as problems. This book offers advice on issues such as deciding where babies should sleep, what foods may help children sleep, tips for single parents, and getting children to bed without a struggle.
Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, by Marc Weisbluth. This book teaches parents the basics of sleep science and helps them find their baby's optimal window for falling asleep both for naps and at nighttime.. Many parents are startled to discover that their baby is sleep deprived, which is actually making it harder for the baby to fall asleep! This approach falls within the "cry-it-out" school of thought. The book also covers teen sleep issues. Addresses mainly infants through age 3, but also discusses older children's and teens' sleep.
Source:
Literature Cited
Written and compiled by Kyla Boyse, R.N. Reviewed by faculty and staff at the University of Michigan "
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Exhausted Mom: Tips For Finding Energy
Today is awfully busy for a Sunday. Then again, Sunday's are mostly busy for any mom. There's the cooking, and the cleaning, and the laundry, etc., etc., but there is also time that has to be found for your baby, husband, pets, and family; if there is any time left, you can bet it will be interrupted by something that I forgot to list. I have to admit, I lost it today. Here's what happened:
I was downstairs in the kitchen, scrambling to make the baby's lunch. I only feed her all organic, nutritious foods, so everything must be prepared in advance. So I was makign her food, like a zombie, trying to keep her happy in her highchair with a teething biscuit so she wouldn't scream and blow my head clean off, and my grandmother goes, "Are you cooking salmon for dinner?" A little bit of background: my grandmother is more like my mother, and is not the typical grandmother. She is the typical, pushy, overbearing mother, and she's pretty young too, so it's not like she is old and frail or anything. So I tell her, "I don't know," and I continue to make my daughter's meal. My grandmother persists (please note, the woman does not even eat salmon). She tells my grandfather and my husband that there is no food in the house because I left our marzeti at the potluck, and that I was cooking salmon for dinner, and she looked at me and said, "right." Me: "Ok, later." And my grandfather says, "What time." It is at this point that I finally said, "I do not feel like cooking salmon today," and had to walk out. I went off and said I was over everyone and was tired of waiting on everyone. Then I went off my husband, because he came downstairs empty-handed after I asked him to either bring the trash or the dishes from downstairs. Here I was, running around, and everyone else was sitting, watching TV. All I could think of was the list of things I needed to do... blah, blah, blah... I won't bore you with the details of my day, but at one point, my body just gave up. I hit the wall, as they say, and am now completely exhausted.
So I did some research on some of the top ways that a busy mom can find energy when it seems impossible to find.
Top 10 Energy Ideas for Mom
1. Redbull and/or coffee: A great, short term solution to give you a 30 minute boost when needed. Please note, you WILL crash afterwords and be even more tired than before. This is only for emergency purposes.
2. Stretching: This helps, and only takes 5 minutes. You can sneak it in while the kids are busy, or while you pretend to be going to the bathroom longer than usual. (The bathroom is a great "break" room).
3. Stay healthy: This is absolutely key. No matter how busy you are, remember that EXERCISE IS CUMULATIVE. I don't have 45 minutes to go to the gym, so I practice lifting the baby, or do lunges while walking through a room. Every single little bit helps.
4. Eat clean: When you put toxic food in your body, your energy plummets. As a busy, mom, I know that its sometimes impossible. I'm no doctor, but I abide by: if you don't understand the label, don't eat it, and if you are hungry but there is nothing healthy, it is better to not eat. This is probably bad medical advice, but I lost weight that way, and feel a bit better than before. I keep bananas, chicken sausage, and small, healthy portions easily accessable, and cut the carbs. Oh, NO white breads, starches, or sugars. Those will really stick to your insides and clog up your systems.
5. Sleep: Yes, I put this because it is medically important, but as a busy mom my personal response is "Ha Ha, yeah right."
6. Green and White tea: It is something healthy and yummy to sip for 5 minutes of relaxation, after the babies are asleep. Make sure it is caffeine free. I sweeten mine with organic stevia, and like the Yogi Organic tea brand.
7. Take a brisk walk with the stroller daily. If you can,, get a multiple baby stroller for multiple kids. They make them for up to 8 kids in 1 stroller: google it.
8. Sleep when the baby sleeps. I have even gotten in the playpen with the baby, just to take a nap. I know that if she wakes up, she will just play around me, and she is safe. I don't recommend this for babys in the SIDS age range, but when the baby's big enough, try it.
9. Try the Book: The Happiest Baby on the Block. My doctor recommended it to me. It is a lifesaver. When I brought my newborn home, I actually got a 4 hour long sleep one night, which was miraculous.
10. Talk with other moms. Sometimes, unloading the burdeon and sharing with other moms will provide you with an energy release that is unmatched. Prayer groups, etc.
Please post a comment: What do you to to find energy when you're drained?
I was downstairs in the kitchen, scrambling to make the baby's lunch. I only feed her all organic, nutritious foods, so everything must be prepared in advance. So I was makign her food, like a zombie, trying to keep her happy in her highchair with a teething biscuit so she wouldn't scream and blow my head clean off, and my grandmother goes, "Are you cooking salmon for dinner?" A little bit of background: my grandmother is more like my mother, and is not the typical grandmother. She is the typical, pushy, overbearing mother, and she's pretty young too, so it's not like she is old and frail or anything. So I tell her, "I don't know," and I continue to make my daughter's meal. My grandmother persists (please note, the woman does not even eat salmon). She tells my grandfather and my husband that there is no food in the house because I left our marzeti at the potluck, and that I was cooking salmon for dinner, and she looked at me and said, "right." Me: "Ok, later." And my grandfather says, "What time." It is at this point that I finally said, "I do not feel like cooking salmon today," and had to walk out. I went off and said I was over everyone and was tired of waiting on everyone. Then I went off my husband, because he came downstairs empty-handed after I asked him to either bring the trash or the dishes from downstairs. Here I was, running around, and everyone else was sitting, watching TV. All I could think of was the list of things I needed to do... blah, blah, blah... I won't bore you with the details of my day, but at one point, my body just gave up. I hit the wall, as they say, and am now completely exhausted.
So I did some research on some of the top ways that a busy mom can find energy when it seems impossible to find.
Top 10 Energy Ideas for Mom
1. Redbull and/or coffee: A great, short term solution to give you a 30 minute boost when needed. Please note, you WILL crash afterwords and be even more tired than before. This is only for emergency purposes.
2. Stretching: This helps, and only takes 5 minutes. You can sneak it in while the kids are busy, or while you pretend to be going to the bathroom longer than usual. (The bathroom is a great "break" room).
3. Stay healthy: This is absolutely key. No matter how busy you are, remember that EXERCISE IS CUMULATIVE. I don't have 45 minutes to go to the gym, so I practice lifting the baby, or do lunges while walking through a room. Every single little bit helps.
4. Eat clean: When you put toxic food in your body, your energy plummets. As a busy, mom, I know that its sometimes impossible. I'm no doctor, but I abide by: if you don't understand the label, don't eat it, and if you are hungry but there is nothing healthy, it is better to not eat. This is probably bad medical advice, but I lost weight that way, and feel a bit better than before. I keep bananas, chicken sausage, and small, healthy portions easily accessable, and cut the carbs. Oh, NO white breads, starches, or sugars. Those will really stick to your insides and clog up your systems.
5. Sleep: Yes, I put this because it is medically important, but as a busy mom my personal response is "Ha Ha, yeah right."
6. Green and White tea: It is something healthy and yummy to sip for 5 minutes of relaxation, after the babies are asleep. Make sure it is caffeine free. I sweeten mine with organic stevia, and like the Yogi Organic tea brand.
7. Take a brisk walk with the stroller daily. If you can,, get a multiple baby stroller for multiple kids. They make them for up to 8 kids in 1 stroller: google it.
8. Sleep when the baby sleeps. I have even gotten in the playpen with the baby, just to take a nap. I know that if she wakes up, she will just play around me, and she is safe. I don't recommend this for babys in the SIDS age range, but when the baby's big enough, try it.
9. Try the Book: The Happiest Baby on the Block. My doctor recommended it to me. It is a lifesaver. When I brought my newborn home, I actually got a 4 hour long sleep one night, which was miraculous.
10. Talk with other moms. Sometimes, unloading the burdeon and sharing with other moms will provide you with an energy release that is unmatched. Prayer groups, etc.
Please post a comment: What do you to to find energy when you're drained?
Getting Your Baby to Sleep Through the Night
So after your comments and advice, here is the number one tip: Establish Routines!
Here is what some of you are saying:
"Try a nice warm bath before bed.what ever u try u have to be consistent.It may seem like it will never work,but if u r consistent it will work in the end."
"Establish a bedtime routine and stick to it. Give your baby a bath, have a last nursing session or bottle, read a story, say a personal, meaningful goodnight to each of your baby's 47 stuffed animals 'whatever. It doesn't really matter what your ritual is, as long as it's soothing, not stimulating, and you're consistent."
"Incorporate a "cuddly" into your routine. Maybe your baby has already developed a special attachment to a stuffed animal or a blanket. If so, use it. If not, try to foster such an attachment by carrying around the blanket (or whatever) as you go through your routine."
"If your child cries when put to bed awake, don't pick her up! Some experts advise you to stay in the room so your baby doesn't panic, thinking she's been deserted. Others advise leaving the room but returning at regular intervals (five to ten minutes is commonly suggested), to speak softly to her, rub her back briefly (but don't take her out of the crib!) and then leave again. You'll have to decide which approach works best for you and your baby."
"When your baby naps, let him to sleep in a well-lit area. This will help encourage shorter naps, which may help him sleep better at night."
" When nursing, ley your baby to finish the first breast offered. This will provide him with more of your rich hindmilk, which helps to space out his nighttime feeds. "
"A really important thing you should do to so that you get baby to sleep through the night and to insure that she sleeps well, on her own, is to create a comfortable sleep environment."
"I have a five-year-old boy and a two-month-old little girl. My first experince with my son was a disaster. I had no clue on how to put him to sleep all night. I've now been parenting for five years and have an idea to try with my baby girl. I keep it bright in the house all day, either the T.V. or the radio is on. I talk and sing to her. Of course I let her take naps, for about 20-30 minutes every two hours. Then after dinner, I bathe my son then nurse my daughter in a dark room with a lulluby CD I bought. She loves to hear it before she lays down for the night. That gives me time to do homework with my son. I've been doing this routine since she was three weeks old. It took me about a week to become successful at it but it works!"
"For those babies who refuse the bassinette like mine did, try a cradle swing. I recommended it to a friend, and it worked for her as well! And my doctor said it was fine, because she was still on her back, the safest sleeping position."
Please leave a comment if any of the above has (or hasn't) worked for you. Or if you think something is missing, leave a comment as well!
Here is what some of you are saying:
"Try a nice warm bath before bed.what ever u try u have to be consistent.It may seem like it will never work,but if u r consistent it will work in the end."
"Establish a bedtime routine and stick to it. Give your baby a bath, have a last nursing session or bottle, read a story, say a personal, meaningful goodnight to each of your baby's 47 stuffed animals 'whatever. It doesn't really matter what your ritual is, as long as it's soothing, not stimulating, and you're consistent."
"Incorporate a "cuddly" into your routine. Maybe your baby has already developed a special attachment to a stuffed animal or a blanket. If so, use it. If not, try to foster such an attachment by carrying around the blanket (or whatever) as you go through your routine."
"If your child cries when put to bed awake, don't pick her up! Some experts advise you to stay in the room so your baby doesn't panic, thinking she's been deserted. Others advise leaving the room but returning at regular intervals (five to ten minutes is commonly suggested), to speak softly to her, rub her back briefly (but don't take her out of the crib!) and then leave again. You'll have to decide which approach works best for you and your baby."
"When your baby naps, let him to sleep in a well-lit area. This will help encourage shorter naps, which may help him sleep better at night."
" When nursing, ley your baby to finish the first breast offered. This will provide him with more of your rich hindmilk, which helps to space out his nighttime feeds. "
"A really important thing you should do to so that you get baby to sleep through the night and to insure that she sleeps well, on her own, is to create a comfortable sleep environment."
"I have a five-year-old boy and a two-month-old little girl. My first experince with my son was a disaster. I had no clue on how to put him to sleep all night. I've now been parenting for five years and have an idea to try with my baby girl. I keep it bright in the house all day, either the T.V. or the radio is on. I talk and sing to her. Of course I let her take naps, for about 20-30 minutes every two hours. Then after dinner, I bathe my son then nurse my daughter in a dark room with a lulluby CD I bought. She loves to hear it before she lays down for the night. That gives me time to do homework with my son. I've been doing this routine since she was three weeks old. It took me about a week to become successful at it but it works!"
"For those babies who refuse the bassinette like mine did, try a cradle swing. I recommended it to a friend, and it worked for her as well! And my doctor said it was fine, because she was still on her back, the safest sleeping position."
Please leave a comment if any of the above has (or hasn't) worked for you. Or if you think something is missing, leave a comment as well!
Keeping Relationships With Childless Couples Alive
I woke up this morning to my daughter, growling and jumping on me, and trying to pull out my eyelashes. Staying up late last night was not a good idea. Anyway, last friday, my childless friends wanted to watch the fireworks, so after I put the baby to bed and secured a babysitter, we headed downtown to watch them. Needless to say, after waking up at 5:30 am, working all day, coming home and taking care of the baby, I was ready to turn in for the night by midnight which, by the way, is waaaay past my bedtime these days. Since I was not driving.... we stayed out until two. Of course, the baby was up the next day at 7:00am, and I havn't caught up on sleep yet. I don't think moms get to sleep, it is a rule or something like that. For my birthday, all I want to do is sleep. No presents needed, no cards, just 8 whole hours of quality sleep.
I can't wait for my childless friends to have kids. One day they will understand, and they won't keep me out all night. You have to walk a fine line between managing your lifelong friends who do not have kids, meeting the needs of your family, and not going insane. Realistically, once you are a mom, you are not going to maintain all of you pre-mom relationships. It isn't going to work, they are not going to understand, and you will lose some of your friends. Motherhood is a test of true friends and relationships. If your friendship is baby-proof, you will have a friend for life. My friend, the one who doesn't have a baby right now, has been my friend literally my whole, life, since we were born. When you have a friend like that, you have to make some concessions and pray that she and her husband has kids soon. She said she is going to go off of birth control in August, but has planned a girls Vegas trip in September with all of her single, unmarried, childless friends. For her sake, let's hope the stork comes after their trip, because if there is one situation you do not want to be in, it is to be pregnant in Vegas. Try being a married mom with kids, and having a bunch of pretty, single, childless friends running around in Vegas. No good.
So you have to live and learn. Baby proof your friendship. Talk to your friends about your life as a mom, but not too much that it takes over your entire conversation. I try to say just enough so as to stop the baby conversation just before their eyes glaze over, and believe me, if you pay attention, at some point their eyes WILL glaze over if you talk too long. So that is the tip for the day: practice your baby conversation with your friends who don't have kids, but make sure that you don't bore them with all of the dirty mommy details like spit up and screaming. Trust me, they are not interested in the fact that you accidentally grabbed a handful of poop while changing your baby's diaper (like I did the other day).
Any of you moms out there have any advice to share about balancing your non-mom friendships with your life?
I am still waiting for advice for how to get a 1 year old to sleep through the night!
I can't wait for my childless friends to have kids. One day they will understand, and they won't keep me out all night. You have to walk a fine line between managing your lifelong friends who do not have kids, meeting the needs of your family, and not going insane. Realistically, once you are a mom, you are not going to maintain all of you pre-mom relationships. It isn't going to work, they are not going to understand, and you will lose some of your friends. Motherhood is a test of true friends and relationships. If your friendship is baby-proof, you will have a friend for life. My friend, the one who doesn't have a baby right now, has been my friend literally my whole, life, since we were born. When you have a friend like that, you have to make some concessions and pray that she and her husband has kids soon. She said she is going to go off of birth control in August, but has planned a girls Vegas trip in September with all of her single, unmarried, childless friends. For her sake, let's hope the stork comes after their trip, because if there is one situation you do not want to be in, it is to be pregnant in Vegas. Try being a married mom with kids, and having a bunch of pretty, single, childless friends running around in Vegas. No good.
So you have to live and learn. Baby proof your friendship. Talk to your friends about your life as a mom, but not too much that it takes over your entire conversation. I try to say just enough so as to stop the baby conversation just before their eyes glaze over, and believe me, if you pay attention, at some point their eyes WILL glaze over if you talk too long. So that is the tip for the day: practice your baby conversation with your friends who don't have kids, but make sure that you don't bore them with all of the dirty mommy details like spit up and screaming. Trust me, they are not interested in the fact that you accidentally grabbed a handful of poop while changing your baby's diaper (like I did the other day).
Any of you moms out there have any advice to share about balancing your non-mom friendships with your life?
I am still waiting for advice for how to get a 1 year old to sleep through the night!
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